Who Am I?

Over the past two weeks I have really been hit hard with the reality that I have no idea who I am in the eyes of God, or even other people. One of my deepest struggles is my self-worth and self-hatred, which both have been struggles since I was a little kid. Both of these struggles played a huge role in the development of my eating disorder as well.

For homework, we read Victory Over the Darkness, by Dr. Neil Anderson of Freedom in Christ Ministries. I've read the book previously, but this time it just rings true and seems to be exactly what I need. There's so much Truth in this book that I highly recommend it for anyone, but especially new Christians.

This week in class we spent some time learning and understanding how to "Tend Your Heart" which is just a fancy phrase for "Let God Work on You." haha! We had opportunities to really listen to the Lord and find out what He thinks. The practical lessons were so amazing! I am so thankful for them.

As I sought the Lord about what I have been learning, it became very clear that it is very important I start working on believing who I am in Christ. It is so easy to look to people, your job, your family, your friends, objects, money, status, or success to have a sense of worth. Modern psychology says you need to look within yourself, which is something I have never understood. I mean, if I think I'm worthless and hate myself, the last place I should go for a deeper sense of worth and love for myself would be myself! I just don't get the whole "you have the power" and "you control your destiny" ideals, but that's just me. Thankfully, as a Christian, we have a far greater source than ourselves to look to and be redefined!

I have decided to daily declare the truths of who I am in Christ before I leave my bedroom each day. We learned in class the importance of declaring aloud the Truth found in God's Word and what an important tool that is in the area of spiritual warfare. It's something I have never really done regularly before, mostly because I don't want to be "noticed" or "rude" or thought of as "obnoxious" . . . silly me! As I will be declaring these aloud, it is both me acknowledging it to myself and declaring it to Satan and immediately setting the stage for the day. As I step out the bedroom door, I will be stepping into who I am and walking in that throughout my day. I know there won't be a magical change overnight, but I believe doing this will help me to grow deeper in my faith journey.