Unconditional love is rather foreign to me. Simply put, I was raised with conditions to everything, either spoken or not, so I easily assumed love also came with conditions. I believed this so much, that I became a person who loved conditionally as well. In high school and early college years, my anger would show up and mean the person I was angry at was unloveable. I drove so many people away. I am ashamed to admit I prolly hurt a lot of people in those years than any other time in my life to date. And then, I realized God's love is unconditional.
When you finally understand God loves unconditionally, it changes you and how you love others. Suddenly, my anger became less of an automatic response. Overtime, I stopped carrying grudges because I was able to quickly and easily forgive. Eventually, it became easier to love people for their potential than be bitter at them for their present offenses against me. Gone was my contempt and instead, grace and mercy ran freely.
A few weeks ago, I got to gather with family and witness the wedding of one of my nephews. There we were, a blended hodge-podge, with four blended families present to celebrate on the grooms side. Something struck me later about how beautiful love is that it brings people together, even in the most difficult of circumstances. Yet, in the midst of all of it, I saw and felt consequences of a blended family as well. I grew up with mothers present that weren't mine, aunts present that weren't my sisters, and even drew my family hedge in second grade (my teacher thought I didn't understand the assignment of a family tree). I thought it was normal, so when I met friends in high school that had one set of parents and their own siblings, my mind was blown. I realized my normal was actually a dysfunction to some. In Family & Consumer Science class in high school, it was discussed amongst my peers and teacher why divorce is bad, you shouldn't marry someone from a divorced family, and how society is making something okay that for centuries was not a good thing. I will never forget the message that sent my mind: I am undesirable to have as a wife, daughter-in-law, or additional family member. What I wasn't told was how love restores.
You see, within my undesirable family dynamics are siblings I wouldn't have if love wasn't restored. I wouldn't have an entire generation of nieces and nephews of love hadn't been restored. I wouldn't exist if love was left in pieces.
And lately, I am realizing love needs to be restored. I'm sick of the division in my country that says there's a side or race card to pick. I'm sick of assumptions getting attention before facts. I'm sick of a nation divided politically where no progress is made on anything. I'm sick of people refusing to love and, instead holding grudges. I'm sick of people choosing to disown family as a way of coping with offenses that are just too hard to face. I'm sick of people being ostriches and denying what is before them. All of this shows we lack love as a country.
People are complaining about "ALL LIVES MATTER" and saying those that say it miss the point of what is going on in my country. What if we loved because ALL lives matter; they all equally matter to God? What if we woke up and lived our lives by being loving to everyone? I know it is impossible, but if everyone tried everyday we would have a lot less issues.
And I realized something else when my nephew got married a few weeks ago.
Love is beautiful. When you see it, it takes your breath away and gives you butterflies. When you experience it, it overwhelms your soul. When you live it, it changes you.
So even though people are in my life that don't deserve it, I try to love them. I get rejected and even treated like I am dead to them, but I still try to love back. It hurts to choose to love because it is the hardest choice you could make. And this is what I realized.... America has a choice to make. Love or hate. If we keep choosing hate, we will destroy ourselves before any country has a chance to drop a nuclear bomb. In fact, hatred is a self-inflicted nuclear bomb.
