This is a more serious post....one coming from the depths of my heart....warning...
Like this title states....I am truly not brave. 90% of my days are full of fears and anxieties. There's a lot of times I fail at fighting them too....sometimes it's easier to hide in my bed, sleeping it away. Other times, I fake it til I make it. Once in awhile I find a solution and totally squash the fear, those times are extremely rare.
I have heard, "You're so brave," multiple times when people talk about me moving to Texas from Minnesota alone. Most often, it is once they learn I packed up everything that could fit into my car and went alone--husband-less even. I guess it makes me smile to think to some it's like I'm doing the Oregon Trail all alone. I can assure you, I am not brave.
When I need to step up and be brave, I am very much like most in the world of women--I argue with myself and squish that brave urge down. A recent example is when I was shopping at the grocery store today and I saw a mom with her kids and felt compelled based on her facial expressions to pray over her. I quickly argued that praying for her from afar was the same thing. I was obedient to my urge to pray for her, but not brave in the action. Anyone can pray FOR someone, but to pray OVER someone in a grocery store no less . . . That's bravery.
Bugs. Some are cute, most are terrible heart attack producing creatures that also show off my high first soprano gifting. Heights....I get weak in the knees. Speaking, even if I love talking...I sweat buckets! Singing solos, while I can do it....I shake the entire time. Leading worship on worship team . . . Comes naturally to me, but not without nausea until the very last song is sung. I am not brave.
My comfort zone consists of a bed, air conditioning, clothes, and a fuzzy blanket in my mind. The bed symbolizes rest and refreshnent. Air conditioning symbolizes breathable air around me and all the comforts of electricity. Clothing symbolizes the lack of vulnerability....which is born out of trust. For me, trust is accomplished if you can climb over a huge brick wall, lined with barbed wire, and armed with an army to reinforce it. The fuzzy blanket symbolizes security and safety and having that feeling everything will be ok. In my comfort zone, I am not brave . . . Far from it.
Yet, I have the secret to bravery. The key to unlocking it into my life, which so many long to have . . . JESUS. He told me to go to Texas. I argued . . . Boy did I argue! I thought of many reasons not to, not just the lack of snow. I was excitingly terrified at the answers God gave to each argument. I eventually left Minnesota, not once looking back in my rear view mirror. I had to only look ahead because I was so afraid that I knew turning around would be much easier. I was so scared I couldn't even bring myself to pack in a timely manner. Definitely not brave....but Jesus makes me brave.
In my obedience, I step out in bravery and that changes everything. I am brave because He is in me not because of my own abilities.
A song God recently but on my heart says it all.......
I stand before You now
The greatness of your renown
I have heard of the majesty and wonder of you
King of Heaven, in humility, I bow
As Your love, in wave after wave
Crashes over me, crashes over me
For You are for us
You are not against us
Champion of Heaven
You made a way for all to enter in
I have heard You calling my name
I have heard the song of love that You sing
So I will let You draw me out beyond the shore
Into Your grace
Your grace
You make me brave
You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the love that made a way
You make me brave
You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the promises you made
You make me brave
You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the promises you made
Read more: Bethel Music - You Make Me Brave Lyrics | MetroLyrics
