Not Your Normal Education

I love the fact that I didn't know much about Antioch Discipleship School before I decided to come. By knowing very little, I was able to come into this year with no expectations except one: to learn. Well, we are two weeks in as of today and I have learned so much than I ever imagined. The thing is, this isn't your normal school. It isn't your normal education.

It's hard to describe to you my first lesson because I have never learned it before. My first lesson came in the midst of a worship time at the retreat we went on. I was doing my art during worship time and I felt the Holy Spirit rain down on our room. Yeah, I know it sounds crazy to you--it was crazy witnessing it! There was freedom felt by one classmate who had never felt such freedom before. There were several who felt the healing hand of God upon them in ways He had never touched before. And there were those in the room who had never encountered Holy Spirit like that before, ever. I laid down that night and prayed to God, "You are SO much bigger than I could have ever imagined! You are so GREAT!"

Another lesson came when the staff members rattled off their expectations of us. The first week was full of "rules and regulations" and making the expectations known clearly so that we can succeed. I have had my share of "first week of school" experiences. There's been teachers and professors who have all laid out their own rules and expectations. I fully expected this to be a repeat, but it wasn't. Instead, I was met with people who loved, whose faces shined the image of God, and who wanted to help us students get there. It's different than a teacher who loves their job. It's different than a professor who wants you to take ownership of your education. It was more like a group of people cheering for you as you run your first 5K, or marathon. They were motivating as much as they were igniting a determination within you.

A huge lesson for me has been realizing the lies I have been believing about God and about myself. There's so much I could say and so many I could list, but this is not the point. The point is that I spent an entire two weeks reading about the ways I believed lies, how they effected me, and why I am stuck in this spot--it's like quicksand. I was making progress, but every now and then I'd sink a little deeper. It's a place between the chains of my past and the freedom to walk out on the water to Jesus. I hate being stuck there! Knowing the lies is the beginning of winning the battle, here everything shifts.

Hearing the phrase, "The Father Heart of God," was so foreign to me. I had never heard of it before. My first reaction was to resist it, push it away, and deny it existed. The time I have spent understanding this Truth has been almost as powerful as the day my friend Kelly explained the Gospel to me. There's so much I still don't know about it, but I am finally pressing into it and am willing to learn. I'm not fighting it, not denying it, and definitely not doubting it.

One other lesson I have had is on knowing that God wants to have an intimate relationship with me that is active and open. There's this belief that God doesn't talk or doesn't have anything to say to us, but it's so wrong! Learning to hear His voice amongst the chaos of this world is something I am so thankful to experience.

I'm not learning math, science, or english. I'm not learning how to do a specific trade well. I'm learning what it means to be a child of God, what it means to be loved by God, what it means to be a part of the body of Christ, and I'm learning how to walk in my faith. These are all things I thought I knew--was convinced I knew! Oh, but there's so much more to learn this side of Heaven! I don't think I'll ever be able to say, "There it is! I got it! I'm done learning!" I am thankful for this journey as hard as it has been already.