Here I am in Waco, Texas and I can see a parallel in a lot of ways.
A few decades ago, a group of friends and I were at my apartment in Fairmont and we were talking about the Holy Spirit. We were a hodge-podge group made up of a former atheist, a former catholic, a Pentecostal, and a former Lutheran. We were studying the book of Acts and one of us asked about speaking in tongues. The conversation led to myself and another friend being prayed over and receiving the gift of tongues. We then started praying over each other and giving each other words of encouragement and prophesy. A friend, Corey, said to me:
"Truth will mark you. You are a woman of Truth. You couldn't lie if your life depended on it and others hate that about you so much, and God smiles. You will carry that Truth to the world. Not as a career, but as a gift to others. When God says, 'Go,' be ready to give the gift of Truth to them."
Here I was last Tuesday night at Lifegroup listening to my Lifegroup leader's testimony and I remembered that word from my friend. It was a word I had forgotten about that was given to me in 2007.
Later, in 2008, I was given the opportunity to go on a mission trip to Mexico. I was excited and expecting a lot of amazing things to happen, but my passport application was never received and I was unable to go. I cried about it, but in my tears God said, "I love your willingness. I wanted you to know the insider information of this trip so you could pray more effectively." So I was a prayer partner for my friends and they had an amazing time. A week later, I got my application file back in the mail from the post office. It was marked: "address unknown" even though the address was correct.
Fast forward a few years later. My friend Katie and I were talking about The Lords Resistance Army and Invisible Children and she said, "It is my dream to go there to Uganda and work with children coming out of that situation." I looked at her and said, "Let's make it happen. I'd love to go with you." Eventually, the trip was happening and we were starting our fundraising efforts. When, once again, my passport application was lost. This time it was not only lost, but I never received anything back in the mail to this day. I prayed for my team, but I also got some backlash from some would-be-supporters who told me, "This never happens. You're making up everything. There was never a trip." I was so offended and hurt, so I cried again to God. He told me, "It is not your job to answer to others. You don't need to worry about them, or defend yourself. I will deal with them. You need to pray effectively for your team again. This is what I wanted you to do. And I wanted you to be willing to go even if the place was not a guarantee of safety. I wanted to know you trusted me." Praying for that trip and my team was amazing. My friends had an amazing time. And I resolved with God from that day forward I would bring willing to go anywhere He was calling me to.
Then, I came to Texas. I was gonna do the Night Discipleship School but my work schedule changed last minute. I decided to do the Day Discipleship School instead, not knowing anything about it. I ended up biting off more than I could chew and stopped after the first semester. My team went to Lebanon for 3 weeks and just got back yesterday. The idea of going to Lebanon for Syrian Refugee Relief was exciting to me. I was thrilled to go and over the moon excited for what God was gonna do. In September, I sent my passport application in for a third time. I made sure I did everything correct and even paid for tracking on the envelope. The post office double checked everything and said it was taking folks 4-6 weeks and not to worry. By November, I still had not gotten my passport. Instead, I received a letter all the Day School staff members had never seen. Apparently, the passport people watch Texas applications very meticulously and questioned my identity and requested 5-10 documents proving long-term identity of myself. Every item had to be 5 years old or more. I called them and they were supposed to call me back. I never received a call.
After leaving the discipleship school, I have been continuing to pray for my team. In March, God put my team heavy on my heart. He told me I was not only to pray for them, but fast for them while they were gone. My team left three weeks ago and just got back yesterday. The past three weeks was not easy to fast from something I love, and I did have two occasions of failure, but there was something that came out of the past three weeks. Connection with God and intercessory prayer that felt powerful. Prayer changes so much, even countries away. God showed me that, by having to stay behind, again I was given a chance to pray more effectively. He said, "I will use this team in ways they won't believe. You need to fight for them in prayer." That was all I needed!!! Haha! When God says to you "You need to fight for them in prayer," ya do it!!
In April, I got an email from the passport people that my passport was received and they were starting the processing procedures. I was told it was taking 4-6 weeks right now. I was so surprised, I had long expected to be denied, especially since I never got a call back from them. I called the number in the email and it ended up being a direct phone number to the El Paso, TX Passport Agency Office. This really nice lady explained everything. Apparently, they have strict guidelines they have to follow in Texas due to identity theft and an increase of false records. As a result they strictly follow a rule that any identification sent in with the passport application needs to have been issued over 1 year before the date of the passport application. I sent in my new Texas Driver's License I had just gotten in February, 7 months prior to the date on my application. I asked her what I could do, as I didn't have a lot of what was requested of me to send in the letter. She told me to gather up 10-15 items from as far back as possible to prove my long-term identity. She said I could send in pictures of them to her direct email to quicken the processing procedures!
It is now nearly 9 months since I sent my passport application in. It is 4.5 weeks since I emailed the lady all my photos. I have so many friends going on trips to Engage the Crisis of Syrian Refugees. My original team has left and come back. And I am praying for a third time in my life for my passport to come.
Today, I found myself bargaining with God as I was praying for friends who just landed in Europe: "If you give me my passport, I will go back and finish. I will do Night Discipleship School. I can't think of a reason not to go. And I will go anywhere You call me to. I just want to share Your Truth as a gift to the world." And then, I remembered my friend, Corey's words, "and God smiles."
My passport is still not here. But I am trusting God's plan for my life. I'm laying my Isaac down and trusting He is faithful.
