An Empty Cupboard, Duct Tape, and a Box

This week I have been packing up the apartment I share with my roommate, Meagan. We are getting a 2 bed-2 bath apartment in the same complex. We move next Saturday.

I have moved so much in the past 5 years that I hate it, even when I should be excited it is the last thing I ever want to do. It is a ton of work!

One thing that is consistent about moving for me is how weepy I get, even when it is a good thing. I get a little bit sappy at the sight of an empty room, an empty cupboard, or even a duct tape label on a box.

Moving has always been a marker for significant times in my life. I was between 4th and 5th grade when we moved back to Minnesota after living four years in Arkansas. I lived in Bemidji, MN for 5 years and dated my fest two boyfriends, which was a huge marker. I moved back to my hometown during a horrible period of dealing with PTSD and depression. I moved to the Twin Cities to be closer proximity to the boyfriend I had at the time. Instead of getting married, I learned the importance of standards, the need for friendship, and setting boundaries. When I moved to Texas, I learned to trust God in ways I have never had to before. And now, I am moving to a place that will be my own for the first time in 5 years! My room and my bathroom are mine to do whatever I wish!! I can decorate how I want to, listen to whatever music I want to, and do art in my art studio I will have in my bedroom! I feel as excited as I feel nervous for the change. 

When I finished packing a section of kitchen cupboards the other day, I got all teary eyed. I started thinking back to when I paced my apartment in Fairmont to moved to the Twin Cities. I was so scared and full of hope at the same time. I was sad walking through my very first apartment in Bemidji when I was moving back to my hometown. There's something about an empty cupboard that is a sign of reality--I am really moving and won't be here anymore. Someone else will live here!

As I looked around and shed a few tears, I was thankful for what this move means. It means I have a home of my own. It means I have successfully moved out of state. It means I have a close friend. I means I am successful in that I can afford an apartment in a safe complex. It means I have trusted God on this journey and have shelter, protection, provision, and my own territory. I can be thankful for all I have been given regardless of certain things not panning out.